Thursday, May 5, 2011


I keep meaning to write but I have so much running through my head.

We had a nice Easter, would have been better with some family to celebrate with.  I'm so tired of most holiday's just being US.  I'm grateful and happy with my little family, but I SOOOO want to show up at a family members house with just a side dish.  Preparing brunch AND dinner is exhausting, ESPECIALLY when pregnant AND on Sundays.

Sundays just stink in my house.  My "weekends" are really Fridays with Jimmy staying awake and being completely dead tired by 5pm and Saturdays.  Sundays we get a part day with Jimmy having to sleep part way through so he can stay awake for his shift that night.  I know I'm just complaining, but it's been SO long since we've been "normal."   And really, I know, how many families have normal schedules nowadays.  But I'm just whining and tired and lonely.  I hate being SO far from family.  I miss my friends in CA.  I miss home.  I guess I'm just more sentimental these days, but who wouldn't be.

The past few days I've been having a lot of contractions.  I was in L & D Monday night with sporadic contractions, and I wasn't even sure IF they were contractions.  Everything that relates to this pregnancy is just SO different than my first 2.  Even the Dr. I saw a week ago said that because I'm having the twins for my third pregnancy the pains and difficulties will be much MORE than if they had been my first.....Oh is THAT the truth!
Back to Monday....I got to L&D and waited to be taken back, at least 30 minutes. I was hooked up to all the monitors, (I hate it when they can't find one heartbeat), I sat there, my contractions were confirmed, they did a fFN test, hooked me up to an IV and I waited. The nurse that was taking care of me told me that the Dr said if the fFN came back negative I would be let go, still contracting.....Well, that's what happened and after being there for 2 hrs I came home around 10pm.  Ever since Monday I've been contracting.  The only time I pretty much DON'T is when I lay down and don't do anything.  This will be a GREAT 9 weeks.  I feel HORRIBLE.  Georgia is just being neglected.  All she wants to do is go to the park, go outside, have me pick her up....and I can't do any of it.  She's stop falling asleep on her own, and for the past few days has only been falling asleep with me in my bed.  NOT WINNING!

Adding to the contractions is extreme pain at my c-section scar.  The stress from the weight of my boys is so great I feel like I'm being ripped open. I know total TMI, but again, it just totally sucks.

I'm SO cranky lately I don't even like to be around myself.  I actually told Jimmy this past Friday afternoon that I could "Complain for hours"  Not exactly something ANY husband wants to EVER hear.....But if I keep it in, like I tend to do, I just get mean.  I yell at Stella, Georgia, Jimmy even the darn cat.  The worst part is, I'm BORED.  I should be laying down and resting, but I have just never been so damn bored in my life. I'm tired of TV. I can't just lay in bed either, I must be on either side (which hurts my hips) and it's difficult to read that way.  I try, but I'm just so uncomfortable.  I know there are other moms out there that have been either on bed rest or just at the point in their pregnancy where they JUST CAN'T DEAL anymore....well I'm there. I have 9 1/2 weeks left.  I've been given the date of July 12th 9am for my c-section.  It seems close, yet OH SO FAR AWAY.