Today is a crappy day.
I started looking through Cullen's box for the time that he was born because I don't remember. It makes me sad that I don't know this, I don't remember the girls' times, but not remembering Cullen's makes me feel so guilty. I sat on the bed this morning and just sobbed. I've become pretty good at avoiding things that will make me fall apart. Grady came in and started to look at the pictures and actually pointed at them and said "me and Cullen" and I cried even more. He asked where he was, asked if he was sick, asked if he was better, then asked if he was coming back. I thought it was difficult when Georgia asked these questions, but this....this hurt SO MUCH. I've always thought about how Grady has lost his best friend, but lately as he's been home playing alone or at preschool I just simply can't stop thinking about it, it makes me so very sad.